Addressing stigma and stress: Calgary’s Starlings Community offers invitation to heal

Editor’s note: This story originated as part of a Mount Royal University community service learning course with the partner the Starlings Community. The reporter retained complete editorial control over this story.

Agnes Chen, a registered nurse with lived experience of the stigma and stress from a parent’s substance use, decided  to build the kind of support she never had growing up. 

In 2018, Chen founded Starlings Community, an initiative she said emerged from, “the clash of my worlds of being a registered nurse and seeing my lived experience come to this precipice of ‘there are no supports or resources for young people or families who are growing up with parental substance use in the home.'”

Chen said she wanted to connect her personal and professional worlds to “create something new.” 

Early on, Starlings centred on conversations about compassion and the social determinants of health. But she quickly realized families affected by parental substance use weren’t receiving that compassion or support.

Starlings Community was formally incorporated as a not-for-profit organization in 2021. Today, they have a small team who provide support for youth, encourage peer-leaders and provide peer-mentorship across Alberta as well as nationally and internationally.   

Supporting youth

Maya Eboigbodin is the youth research lead at Starlings Community. Her job is to research environmental scans and literature reviews that they can use for things such as grants and reports.

Eboigbodin also leads the knowledge equity team where they listen to people with lived experiences to provide insights on the research they do.

She said the overarching goal of Starlings Community is to increase resources and support for youth facing the stigma of parental substance use.

“We’re able to back up the need for Starlings because more and more research is coming out about the ways that stigma against these families affects them,” said Eboigbodin. “But also we’re able to reinterpret findings because a lot of the time policy will come out and people will use that, for example, as justification for parental separation and things like that.”

Eboigbodin said because of their connections with the community and using their own research, the Starlings Community team knows that parental separation and policy misuse can be harmful. 

Emilee Costa is a practicum student from the University of Lethbridge as an addictions counsellor in training. Costa loved Starling’s mission and message after learning about the organization through her professor. 

“I always wanted to grow up to be that adult that I didn’t have as a kid. I was separated too from my family so I never got a good chance at having a healthy adult that was safe to talk to. I always wanted that and wanted to be that person for other people,” she said. 

Addressing stigma and stress

Tacia Tsimaras, Starlings Community’s director of community and education, connected with the organization two-and-a-half years ago after recognizing her own lived experience growing up with a parent’s substance use. 

She said stigma remains one of the most significant barriers young people face.

“I think that stigma is very real and shows up in different ways,” she said. “It can be in the way health-care providers or other natural supports or professionals talk to youth, how they talk about their families. 

Tsimaras explained how stigmas around parental substance use can be internalized by youth and adults. 

Tsimaras adds that stigma is often reinforced through systems and policies. Healthcare, recovery models and broader government structures shape how young people are spoken to and treated.

When it comes to Starlings Community programs, Chen said they are built with that reality in mind. “We help disrupt internalized stigma by being predominantly peer-led, peer-facilitated, peer-created and looking at it from that system-level response of recognizing the various layers of harm that a young person had experienced up until that point.”

Youth often find Starlings through social media, word-of-mouth and shared stories. But even when support is available, reaching out isn’t always simple.

Chen said a young person’s home environment may prevent them from seeking help, particularly if they fear a parent will find out.

“When we first started, young people would email and be like, ‘I can’t come to peer groups because I’m living at home and my parents might hear it. They’re really ashamed. I don’t want them to feel bad.’” she said.

The impact of language

Starlings Community is intentional about the language it uses. For example, the organization uses the term substance use instead of substance abuse. 

“The tricky thing with language is it’s always changing,” Chen said. “We say, ‘the stress and stigma of a parent’s substance use’ because a lot of youth might not feel connected to the experience of addiction because there’s so much stigma around addiction.”

Chen said they are careful with their language because it allows youth to define their experience on their own. The youth can redefine their identity formation and make meaning of substance use, which Chen describes as a spectrum.

When a youth has internalized stigma or language, Starlings focuses on the youth’s story, giving them space to understand their experiences. 

“I always say it’s an invitation to healing by offering stories,” Chen said. “We never tell people how they should identify their experience or refer to, you know, a parent’s, because that’s their story. So we just offer our stories and information as a way of helping them connect to their story.”

Chen said language is the root of everything Starlings is doing.

What’s next?

As a volunteer-based organization, Starlings is focused on sustaining the current program. As a full-time volunteer, Chen said funding is project specific.

“We’re a small not-for-profit, one of the only ones in Canada. I will say the only one in Canada doing what we’re doing,” Chen said. “We need sustainable funding that allows us to run our programs and have peers facilitating.”

Tsimaras agrees.

She said expanding their reach and partnering with someone who can provide a mutual benefit is important. To  grow and tackle bigger problems requires sustainable funding.

“It’s hard to do what we do without it, whether it’s grant funding or donations from organizations.” 

Tsimaras said the demand for support is rising as more youth reach out seeking connection and resources. She said many youth turn to Starlings after struggling to find services that reflect their specific experiences, adding that the growing need shows why long-term, sustainable funding is essential.

“When I think of Starlings and what Starlings means, it’s that every family and every youth gets access to support and resources that they need without fear or stigma or shame,” she said.

Moving forward, Chen has plans for the organization to reach and connect with more youth across Canada. She said she hopes Starlings will receive charitable status and “wants to be at the United Nations telling them that this is an issue around the world.”