Have you ever felt you’re living the same life every day, going through the motions, checking off the boxes, then wondering why you’re still unhappy? The problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough. It may be that you’re doing too much.
Early in life, I realized that getting something done, or ticking a box on my to-do list, gives a rush of dopamine. I became addicted, always needing to do something to prove my worth. After a while, I realized I felt restless, constantly craving the same sense of accomplishment. It felt like I was always chasing a feeling I could never truly catch.
This isn’t a way to live, it’s a way of surviving.
After realizing I was affected by this, I started looking around. I began noticing the same patterns everywhere: friends overloading their schedules, family unable to sit down and relax, and even strangers were living the same way. I realized that this problem is much bigger than I thought, and it affects everyone.
The culture of busyness
Research shows that Western society has developed “cultural busyness,” where constantly being busy is seen as an accomplishment and puts you above others. According to Harvard Business Review, this culture of busyness can undermine our effectiveness and significantly affect our well-being, because it prioritizes the performative appearance of productivity over meaningful work and rest. Even when we talk about our days, we reflect this pressure.
An article from The Guardian explained that people often engage in “busy bragging,” almost competing with others to show how overloaded they are, as if filling every minute of their day makes them more valuable. Not only does living on alert affect your own mental well-being, but it also affects your connections with others.
Research shows that practicing mindfulness, being present, tuning into your senses and focusing on your breathing can improve mental well-being and strengthen relationships.
A study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being found that participants who engaged in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program reported a greater sense of time and higher overall well-being, which helped them feel more fulfilled and less rushed.
Another study that was published in the Journal of American College Health showed that students who engage in mindfulness practices were more present in their daily lives, which improved their mental health.
Even so, some argue that filling your day with productive activities is necessary for building your future. With these kinds of influences, people become competitive and think that constant productivity is the only way to get ahead of others.
This is especially apparent online, where “grind culture” on platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn romanticizes endless work, making every moment not spent hustling feel wasted. I’m not saying that these things don’t matter at all. It takes hard work and discipline to build the life you want and opportunities don’t just come out of nowhere.
Slowing it down
But there’s a difference between working towards a goal and never allowing yourself to have a break. When you’re always looking for that rewarding feeling, you lose the ability to enjoy your life. Rest feels unearned and everyone becomes distant.
For years, I felt like I had to be the best at everything, never missing a day at the gym, always pushing myself through assignments, and going above and beyond to prove my worth. Over time, I became burnt out, I started feeling mentally exhausted, constantly anxious and drained. The worst part about this, I still didn’t feel worthy of anything. My self-image was warped. I judged my worth by how much I could accomplish, but no matter how hard I worked, it was never enough.
The issue lies within your relationship with productivity, especially when it becomes an addiction. For me, the solution wasn’t lazily skipping tasks; but being intentional about what to do each day and not overburdening myself — your whole life doesn’t need to feel like you’re running a race with no finish line ahead.
Society may glorify the busy “go-getter”, but evidence is clear: slowing down and valuing the little things leads to an enjoyable life. Making the most of your time doesn’t mean filling every second of it, maybe it means actually being there for it.